Ok, so my husband isn’t drinking O negative cocktails, and he loves garlic, and the holy water at mass and confession isn’t leaving open sores.
BUT. . .he does work a 12 hour night shift as a paramedic.
Which means he sleeps during the day, and we had to make some adjustments to our lifestyle.
It’s difficult sometimes to explain to those who don’t live this lifestyle what it’s like and how those changes impact your day-to-day living, much less when you want to do something special. Our culture is set up for day walkers, not night walkers.
When we first got married, Steven struggled with what to do with himself in the middle of the night on his off days.
{you see, it’s a strain on your physical and mental well-being to reset your sleep schedule every two days.}
I had to remind him that when I’m home on the weekends or the summer or the holidays, I don’t do nothing all day to avoid waking him. I still use the kitchen, watch television, and if I need to, go in the bedroom. Things around the house still needed to be done.
So, within a few weeks (or months. . .I don’t remember) we settled into the nice rhythm of him doing the laundry in the middle of the night, running the dishwasher, and feeding the worms (yes, we have pet worms). When it’s warm, he may take Daisy for a run near dawn or start mowing the grass at 6 in the morning. He also does things for himself like reading and devotions or playing Atari or Nintendo (yes, we have retro video games).
But what does that mean for our date life or social interactions? Well, date life happens at night when most dates would happen. And social interactions are much easier in the evenings. If you ask him to do something at noon, even on his day off, that’s like asking me to do something at midnight on my day off. And we’re not in our twenties any more so all nighters do not sound appealing!
We do, on occasion, decide that an activity is worth the task of resetting his sleep schedule. For example, we wanted to participate in a Remembrance Walk for our babies in October.
It was on a weekend he was to work. For him to participate, he had to take one of the nights off–either the night before or the night after–so he could be awake during the walk and make sure that he could get his sleep back before working again. No one wants a less than well-rested paramedic! When we go on vacation, the first day of it is him re-calibrating himself to a day walker and the last two days are calibrating back to night walker. And if too many of these calibrations happen too close together. . .well, then it’s a mess.
I’m at least an 8 hour a night girl for sleep. If I go too many nights without that or have to adjust the when I go to bed or get up, I start to get grumpy. It’s the same with Steven. If he has to stay up past about 9 a. m., you don’t really want to try to talk to him. Or if he has to get up before 4 p. m., well, for me that’s like getting up before the sun. . .just no.
Lots of people in our young marriage have questioned this lifestyle for us. How do we make it work?
First, Steven LIKES working nights. He enjoys the types of calls he gets for the most part; he enjoys his co-workers; he enjoys that some nights there’s nothing. 
It’s reminiscent of the military for him where he always had to be prepared, the adrenaline bubbling just beneath the surface.
Second, Steven isn’t really a morning person, and if he were a day walker, he’d have to leave the house before 6 a. m. which means he’d have to get up at like 5 a. m. Makes me shudder just to think of it.
Third, it’s our reality, so we make it work. In all honesty, it’s probably best for us. If he worked days, our interactions would be even less. He would leave for work before I even got up and get home from work after supper time (and that’s without a late call). This schedule means that on his days off, he’s just getting up when I get home from work, and we have the whole evening together.
It is a balancing act, as any co-habitation would be, I suppose. We weigh what’s worth a change in our routine, just as any other couple does, I suppose. Does it mean that sometimes I do things alone in our day walker culture that I wish he were a part of? Of course! But I also know that he is providing for me and our home, and I love him for that {and for many other things}, so if sometimes I have to say, it’s just me today, that’s ok.
Seasoned 