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When Peace

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In the last ten months, I have spent much time in grief. It’s consuming. And it’s frustrating. My head knows that there is an abundance of beauty and love surrounding me, but my heart just gets a bit stuck.

I have been angry. . .and defensive.  Defensive of my feelings.  Defensive of my God.

I have been depressed, consumed by all that was lost and all that would never be.

Mostly, I have been at unrest.

But, today. Today, I had a breakthrough and peace descended on me like the river. It refreshed my soul.

Joshua 1:9 says, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God IS with you wherever you go.” {emphasis mine}

I’ve read and heard that verse before.  But today it was so deeply personal.  And when the preacher said that it showed God’s divine presence in each of our lives and how He is with us in our journey and waiting for us at the place He’s taking us, it was like eating one of my grandma’s peanut butter balls with her at her kitchen counter.  It was bliss.

God is not surprised by the events in my life. He has been patiently waiting for me and cheering for me as I navigate these unexpected waters.

I am not perfect. But I am loved.

I am not strong. But I am held by the God of the universe. . .and, He is the Almighty.

I am not without wounds. But I am filled with the joy of knowing that Christ is my success.

When peace like a river attends my soul, the balm of Gilead is there applied, and my soul sings loudly.

A Milly Pause

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Usually Seasoned Fiction is a post about Milly and Paper Wrappers. But let’s pause a moment and do something a bit different. I don’t generally go for poetry. It’s not what I find is my strength. That said, I ran across this poem I wrote in 2009 after reading the book of Esther and book about the book of Esther. I thought I’d share it today.

“For Such a Time as This”
For such a time as this
God has put me in this place.
I didn’t know when I awoke
That I could be His tool of grace.
I am just an ordinary me
Nothing special about I
But the fragrance of God
Has poured from my life
For such a time as this.

The moments of my life
Are routine and mundane
I am only one who struggles through this world
My star shines for Him
To risk without gain
To know that all I do is
For such a time as this.

My Lord has permeated each day.
Each breath and each step
Though ordinary it seemed
His plan was so great
Though I could not see
As He placed me His stage
For such a time as this.