This boring life


Are we boring?

“What do y’all do for fun?”

An innocent enough question.

As we drove home from that dinner we realized we never really answered it.

Which, of course, lead to a discussion on, “are we boring?”

Neither of us is a spring chicken. We had done a lot of living by the time we started dating. Steven had done college and Marines, complete with two tours to Afghanistan. I had been teaching for nigh on twenty years, taking students on European tours for the last ten of it. We had seen things. We had done things.

Philadelphia, 2019

Now, we are completely content to sit at home and stream a movie or play a few rounds of mahjong or take a bike ride on the greenway. Every once in a while we take a trip. . .San Antonio, Savannah, Williamsburg, Washington, DC, and Philadelphia over the course of our marriage. . .some of those long weekends, others “traditional” vacations.

All of those were great trips, but we were happy to come home and land.

A rare out of the ordinary date swing dancing.

After contemplating all of this we tried to recall what kind of dates we did before marriage. The truth is, it was mostly the same. We rented movies. Went out to eat some (we actually had a pretty regular date at the local burger joint). Sometimes, when Steven lived in Boone, we’d hop in the car and see where we ended up. . .once it was Tennessee. We walked trails.

Mostly, we just enjoyed each other.

It’s what we still do.

So, society may label us as boring. We’re ok with that. We’ll be boring together and have an exciting life.

Stood Up


In 2005 I briefly went out with a guy I had been crushing on for a while. I’m not sure if he knew this or not. It didn’t end well. . .but then again, it did. He stood me up for New Year’s Eve and that’s when I realized I’d been doing it all wrong.

I didn’t really let him off the hook after this realization. . .I called him one last time, pretty sure he wouldn’t answer, and informed him that he was rude.

Then, I fasted from dating.

For a year.

Suddenly, lots of men wanted to date me. But when I told them I was fasting from dating, they didn’t get it. What did that mean? It meant that I was dating God. One even asked me how he was supposed to compete with that.

Well, you don’t.

But it’s still hard to turn down a date.

The beginning of that year, I would go to bed repeating this mantra: Father, you are my comfort, my strength, and all the Love I need.

Eventually, I believed it. And I found joy. And I was ready to really date–the way I was supposed to. Because now I was confident in myself and knew that I didn’t really NEED a guy.

It’s very liberating to realize that I don’t need someone else to be the center of my world because I have God as that.

But I want. I want to share my joys, my successes, my failures, my comfort, my strength, and my continued growth in faith with the man God has provided.

So, in essence, being stood up was the best thing that happened to my dating life.