I truly don’t remember what installment this is. Four, maybe?

I’m still so very tired. And one of the things that makes me tired is everyone telling me how tired I’m going to be when Peter starts walking. Like the type of tired I am in this season isn’t valid.

He’s figured out how to climb into his chair and settle in.

I want to say yes. Everything seems to be “that’s a no” right now. The trashcan is particularly fascinating. But, it’s a no. The diaper pail, also fascinating. Also, a no. The printer, charging cords, remote controls. . . that’s a no. So, I try to find things to say yes. Want to pull all my clothes out of the drawer? Ok. I will try not to think about how I have to put them back after you go to bed. Want to play in the dog water? Ok. I will try not to think about how I have to clean it up before it warps the floor. Want to use the fork by yourself? Ok. I will try not. . . .

It helps that his face is so full of joy when he does those things.

I hope he’s getting enough good nutrition as we transition off of formula. Who knew formula was such a safety net in this way (ok, probably everyone–even me, to an extent–I just didn’t think about it until now). Is he going to get enough food? Is it going to be the right food? Is he starving and not able to tell me?

I can NOT get over watching him problem solve and learn and the look on his face when he accomplishes something.

But have I mentioned how tired I am?